Porn vs. Erotica

Writing out my session with Justin and Adam (one of his husbands) as my next erotic story is taking longer than expected. Not only do I keep stopping to release the pressure in my pants. Damn that was a good afternoon., but I keep wondering if I’m writing porn or erotica, not that it matters, I’m a big fan of both, but these are the things that send me down very sexy and often time-consuming rabbit holes. I guess I could do a little research on the subject, but that’s not as much fun for this nerd-a-luscious dude as wandering around in my own brain.  

What IS the difference between porn and erotica? For me, it’s not the graphic details, I’m including a lot of those and it’s definitely not the subject matter, my erotica is about SEX. So, what is it?

I’ve settled on this: Porn is about the sex and only sex. Erotica is about more than that, it brings in character, situation, relationships. In the same way that a good song in a musical isn’t just a good song; it also has to reveal character or advance the plot, in erotica good sex isn’t just good sex, it is integral to the life of the character and their story…in this case me. My romp with Justin and Adam was definitely integral.

Damn, now I have to go release a little more pressure.

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Camping with my F. Buddies

Riverside Gay RV Campground

Months ago I was invited to spend the August long weekend camping at Riverside Campground with my good friends, Patrick and Greg. Just to clarify, when I say good friends, I mean fuck buddies – with a strong emphasis on buddies, though I never want to undervalue the fuck…especially with these guys. We’re all set to spend the weekend in and out of Greg’s camper and in and out of each other…seriously, with three versatile guys (not to mention any guests that might drop in) the possibilities are endlessly delightful.

I’m beginning to think I might have to book an extra session with my therapist because I’m having a dilemma with all of this. I’ve been dating Justin for almost 11 months and I’m over the moon, under the sheets and around the corner in love. Still not the problem. He’s Poly (two husbands, one of them legally); I’ve known I was poly for years, this SHOULD all be working out beautifully and it is…mostly. It’s not that I don’t want to reconnect with Patrick and Greg – in and out of the bedroom. It’s not that I’m harbouring any residue of guilt from back in my heteronormative monogamous days…I do NOT miss those days.

Now that I’m finally exploring my polyamorous self it’s really resonating with me on a deep that goes beyond sexual gratification (there’s a LOT of that), but some part of my heart wants to be me and Justin with the rest of the world – even the sexy parts – shut out…unless we invite someone in together.  

O. M. f’n G. am I longing for monogamy? Don’t get me wrong, I’m going; if history repeats itself there’s gonna be lots of sex, and I’m gonna enjoy every moment of it, but…I’m gonna miss my guy. Maybe I have to admit what a sloppy, romantic I am. I’m also REALLY looking forward to reunion sex when I get back with Justin. I wonder if it’s as good as makeup sex.

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Missing my Super Bulges

Just finished watching Black Widow with my youngest (14 years) and I’m torn. I love seeing films with strong, smart women in the leads, it’s empowering without being condescending, inclusive without being preachy.

HOWEVER – I miss muscle men in speedos showing up to save the day. When I was feeling out of place and alone in junior-high, Batman would sweep into my imagination with his bulgy black Speedo, his jagged cape and his firm jaw to save me. I’m still sure it was Aquaman’s firm butt that got me onto the swim team in high school where I could wear my own Speedo without feeling self-conscious; I’m also sure he’s at least partially responsible for overdeveloped Speedo/Underwear fetish. And DON’T get me started on Spiderman…ok, let’s talk about Spiderman, who was regularly squatting with his thighs spread so provocatively. Sigh, he could wrap me up in his web ANYtime he wanted.  If only there was some radioactive spider to bite me and transform my overly scrawny frame into that muscled web spinner. WAIT, I’m confusing myself, did I want to be Spiderman or did I want to have (or be had by) Spiderman? I guess the beauty of fantasies is that I can have both.

Soooooo. Go girl power, Scarlett Johansson is great and I LOVE that a woman, Cate Shortland, directed (brilliantly I might add) but please I miss my Super Speedo Bulges.

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My Boyfriend is dating an erotic writer.

Justin, my boyfriend, and I are training for a marathon on the Bruce Trail. We started at point 0 in Queenston (Niagara) and went to the Inniskillin Winery and back on our first day. Today went on from the Winery. Stopping for lunch by the Niagara River looking over to New York State, I told him I was taking my erotic writing more seriously, starting this blog and relaunching my Amazon publishing page that I dabbled in almost a decade ago. I told him I’d be writing about all my favourite nerdy stuff: History, Ghosts, Pirates, Travel, Superheroes, we talked about how they would all have to include romance because I’m slut, but I’m a very romantic slut.

He said that nothing I wrote could be as hot as our session yesterday. It was AWESOME. I’m not sure how I have the energy to be training today. So, I’m adding autobiography to the list, and I’m starting with our marathon session yesterday. I’ll get it up on Amazon by the end of the week.

Back on the trail Justin turns to me, smiles and says “I’m dating an erotic writer; everything in my life is better with you in it.” This guy – he melts my heart and stiffens my cock. It’s an awesome combination.

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